Week 48 Complete! Starting Week 49~

48 weeks complete and a total of 44 pounds lost! That brings me to 259. Not quite my goal, but to be in the 250s is AMAZING! I am very excited to have lost the weight I have, and to be feeling more energetic! I still have more to go, but I am feeling positive. I want to continue for 22 more weeks and see how well I can do. I would love to be out of the 200s, but if I can meet my 2nd & 3rd (of 7) weight goals that would put me down under 225.
   Unfortunately I didn't make my goal to earn the money, but I am going to try again! I will shoot for being 225 by Lucas' birthday week. So I will have had a total of 70 weeks and 78 pounds lost. I will try for that. That is a pretty reasonable goal, just a bit more than 1 pound a week.
    I'm doing pretty well with my eating and exercise and that's going well for me. Onward and upward to keep pushing forward!

Thank you all for your help these past 48 weeks, I'm still going strong and not giving up! I haven't been this "skinny" in over 2 years, what a blessing!

Starting the "last week" 48!!

I finally sucked it up, ate healthy and lost.... (drum-roll please...)....9 pounds this week! AAHHH!! Totally amazing, super excited, can't believe 9 pounds! Wooh! So that brings me to 260 this morning making a total of 43 pounds lost altogether.
    So how did I do it? I ate healthy (was never below 1100 calories and usually closer to 1400), I got the right macros (ratio of proteins, carbs, and fat) and I never skipped a workout! I am just so totally excited. I really worked hard to take care of myself this week and I feel so good!
    So since this is my "last" week of my original goal, I have been thinking about making a new goal. I know that I'm not on track to reach the ultimate end goal of having lost all the weight I need to, but I have made really good progress and would like to continue my blog and maybe change some things up. Like, I was wanting to maybe post more recipes, things I am doing to lose weight, etc.
     So the first goal was until Brycen's Birthday, and I think I will extend my goal out to Lucas' Birthday which will bring it to a total of 70 weeks, which is 32 more weeks and I am 32. Anyway, just a cute little idea of the next goal. I would like to be under 200lbs by then. I am on the right track to make that goal, I just have to keep working hard and doing what I need to!
    In the challenge group I am a part of, one of the coaches said that the way to be fit and healthy is in doing those little things everyday. It's not spending 8 hours a day at the gym or going on a crash diet. It's working out an hour a day and properly fueling your body with the nutrition it needs. The changes at first can be difficult, but the process is just one day, one workout, one meal at a time. And really the process is very simple, and rewarding. It's the change in ourselves that is the hardest, but it's starting to come for me, and I am so happy to let go of the old and embrace the new!
   So for next week, let's say goodbye to the 260s shall we? I'd really love to be in the 250s at least, I may not make the 249 like I had wanted, but I want to be as close to it as possible!
    Thanks all for your help this year, you all have been such a great support to me!
-Tawn

Week 47

1 pound down, going the right direction! Starting a new 90 day challenge, feeling pumped! 2 Weeks to go and a lot of work to do! So glad to have my buddy Stephanie!

Week 46: Wrong Way!

Oh boy. It's really hard to blog today. My weight went the wrong way, back up to 270. This past month has been somewhat of a roller-coaster for me. I keep wanting to pull out of it but get stuck again. Well, I do have a plan to make some changes, hopefully this week I can see them happening:

1) I stocked the fridge full of veggies.
2) I got my Vanilla Shakeology in the mail to help with cravings and nutrition.
3) This is my last week of Les Mills Pump, then I start it again.
4) Next Sunday I weigh in and start a new 90 day challenge group.

Need to stop the roller-coaster and get off. Feeling determined to pull out of the rut. This has happened before, but it doesn't have to tear me down. 3 weeks left to reach my goal, I've made it harder, but not impossible! School starts this week for Brycen, and my life gets busier too, really wanna see those changes, but they don't happen unless I DO IT!
    So, saying goodbye to the roller-coaster and hello to a new week, fresh start! The good news is that even when it's been hard to post that I haven't done well, I have still been posting every week, I stuck to my word on that and I'm really happy, even though it's rough to report the "bad news". Keep trying and don't quit, that's where I'm at right now!
   If you have great inspirational quotes/sayings, I'd love to hear them! I'm gonna post some around the house this week!
-Thanks!
-Tanya

Week 45: Back on Track!

44 complete weeks, and 2 pounds lost this week, bringing me back down to the 266. Still need to lose 17 pounds to make my goal! My good pal, Stephanie, has been such an inspiration helping me to succeed this week. Though it wasn't the number I was hoping for, I'm glad that I got back going in the right direction. Changing my eating habits still seems to be the struggle this week. Three more weeks left until I reach my first goal of 48 weeks, really want those 17 pounds.
   So week 48 will begin on September 8th and I will do my "final" full 48 week weigh in on September 15th, 5 days before Brycen's Birthday. I will keep going with my "week count" to set another goal, I'll post more about that later. So it gives me a full 4 more weeks- 28 days to get to my goal.
   -As I posted on my blog, making a "prize" for reaching my goal I think will be good. If I am under 260 I think I should get a prize of $25 and if I reach my goal of 249 or less I get the full $50. Also thinking of a fun "exercise" or "health" prize, any ideas?

Thanks Everyone! Especially Stephanie! You are amazing!

-Tanya

Week 44

Boy these 260s sure are rough for me. I bounce up and down through them. Went down this week, then back up. Did so good at the beginning of the week, then lost it at the end. Grr. Right now I'm back up at 268, ugg. Just feeling blah right now. Don't know where that motivation went, starting to wobble. Need help! Please feel free to give me a swift kick! I have a few more weeks before the end of my first 48 week goal and I really want to hit 249 and I really want to gain back that momentum. So folks, give me that tough love!
Signed,
    Old Habits Die Hard

Week 43

Starting week 43 this week, had a rough eating week. Unfortunately the scale really felt it and I went up a few pounds. Did really well on those workouts, only missed that one, and I adjusted the rest days so I actually didn't skip any, so that was really good. The eating really got me this week. Well, I did better yesterday and hope I'm off to a good start for this week. Wanna re-gain some of the ground I lost, mentally. Really want to eat better, but I have to more than want it, I have to do it! So here's to a little less talk and a lot more action this week!!

Going to Week 42

Weighed 266.0 this morning- goodbye 2 more pounds! 37 pounds down! That's just awesome! Every week I get to be a little lighter than the week before. I am loving it! The weeks add up and the weight goes down and I just have to keep doing what I am doing, keep trying, keep making the effort, keep working out, it's happening!
    I've had a few "low" weeks where I am losing 1 or 2 pounds, but after 9 weeks I haven't gained or stayed the same. My eating has been good, but could be better. I am feeling healthier and stronger and I love it! I can't help but wonder what a "perfect" week would do for me. If I ate "perfectly" getting all my proper nutrition and if I didn't miss a workout at all? How would I feel?
Hmmm.... shall we find out??
     Tune in next week........

Week 41 Begins

As I celebrate 40 weeks, I bring total weight loss to 35 pounds, 25 of which have been lost in the last 8 weeks! Considering the horrible week I had, when I stepped on the scale this morning I was blown away by having lost another pound. I am on an 8 week streak of losing at least one pound every week, averaging over 3 pounds a week. That is so incredible! 268-- I was so happy to see that this morning! What a great blessing it was! With a bunch of skipped workouts and not the best nutrition plus getting ready for and taking my Counselor's Exam, it really was a tough week for me. To see another pound come off really helped me to put into perspective that this is a lifelong change which is taking effect. So I am ready to get back on it and keep pushing forward. I took a little bit of a stumble this week, but I didn't lose it completely! And it's time to push forward. Get those workouts, fuel my body with the right nutrition and be happy! These changes are starting to take hold, I've gotta help them become my new "normal".
   I hope in the next 8 weeks that I can lose another 19 pounds and hit that weight goal of being under 250. That would reach my goal of being thinner & healthier than Brycen has ever seen me, just in time for his birthday! That would be awesome! So thanks all for your help & encouragement this week! Steady and strong finishes the race! Ready to step up!

Into Week 40

Another pound down! I have to remember to be excited for each pound I lose and that when I lose a BIG number, like the 6 pounds I lost last week, I usually have a week where I only lose a pound or two. With how hard I worked this week, I would have thought I would have lost more, but one pound is still very good.
    The focus on the scale and weight loss this week threw off my groove. I know I have been doing so good and I'm happy with the success I have made, but seeing how far I still have to go can be intimidating. I just really want those BIG numbers. But, even the small ones make a difference.
    So, even though it's not what I wanted, I'm gonna celebrate that 1 pound and I'm gonna move forward this week continuing to eat healthy and do my workouts the best I can. Keeping my focus on taking care of myself and listening to my body will help me not get sidetracked by the scale!
    Thanks all for your support on this journey-- 34 pounds down in 39 weeks-- that is not shabby at all!
Here's to another week down!

-Tawn

Starting Week 39- Big Numbers!

BIG weight loss this week! 6 pounds! Yes! What a great achievement. Honestly with my birthday, family reunions, and the 4th of July my eating wasn't the best at the beginning of the week. But, I finished strong, didn't skip any workouts and got a big reward! So that brings weight loss to a total of 33 pounds, surpassing over 10% of my original body weight! Woohoo!
    Going strong and feeling great. My nutrition is really tightening down and it feels really healthy and good. My cravings are less and my desire to overeat is pretty much gone. Exercising and eating right really make your body feel great (if not a bit sore!)
    Hope all of you had a safe and happy holiday. It was so great to visit with Brycen's Mom's relatives! Had a great time! Thanks Aunt Michelle for all your support and encouragement! Family truly is wonderful!

Until next week- Keepin' it strong!
-Tawn

Week 38

10 weeks left! Can't believe how fast the time flies! Well I didn't quite make my 273 this week, but I did lose 2 more pounds which puts me down to 276! Considering the week I had, that was pretty good I think! Not as good as I would have liked, but acceptable! My total weight loss is now 27 pounds, not bad!
    My overall calorie consumption has really decreased and that has made a huge difference. I am just naturally eating less and it's not a huge challenge or struggle.
   This week I want to really focus on good nutrition, making sure I get a well-balanced, healthy diet. I am also going to be more consistent with workouts, it's been crazy around here so the workouts have been struggling, so this week it's time to pump it up!
    Thanks all for your support and help! Each week I am losing more, weighing less, feeling more confident, and getting healthier!
   Life is good!
-Tawn

Week 37: Another Down!

Hey all! It's been a really rough week here: seized up engine in my car, heart problems again, and enough stress to go around! With that said my workouts and nutrition was pretty rough as well. The good news is that I didn't give up. And because of that I was rewarded with another pound lost! What a great blessing! So that brings me a full 25lbs lost and to 278. I honestly was afraid I was going to plateau right @ 279-280 b/c that was a set-point for me for a really long time. So grateful that even when life is tough, if I keep trying and don't give up completely that I will still see success.
    So, I have only one week left until my birthday and I would love to hit 273- bringing me to a weight loss that is 10% of my original body weight, that would be totally awesome!
So in order to get that to happen this week I need to be right on with my nutrition and not miss a single workout. I can do that! I am also going to challenge myself to not look at the scale again until next Sunday. I am going to go all out this week and give it my very best and see what happens.
    So here's to my last week of being 31, going out with a bang!

Week 36 Says Goodbye & Hello!

As I go into week 36 we officially say "Goodbye" to the 280s and "Hello" to my first weight goal! 279 Baby!! Yes! Wedding weight & Pre-Pregnancy weight were both 280, so being 279 puts me under. That was my first weight goal, to weight less than wedding & pre-pregnancy. I am so excited to meet that! Another 4 pounds down, bringing me to 24 pounds lost. This new eating and exercise plan is really working for me!
    As a little bit of an explanation= eating such high proteins is kinda hard to do without going extreme on beef/chicken/other meats. So getting protein shakes, fish, and eating healthier whole grains really makes the difference.
   I also met a personal goal this week to be able to say "no" to foods without getting all emotional about it. On Friday, Brycen & Lucas went out to eat (I let them have a "Daddy/Son Date") and I stayed home & ate fish with veggies. And I wasn't even jealous or upset at all. And I actually really enjoyed the veggies. It is actually pretty fun & delicious to make healthier meals and strive to get the nutrition my body needs. I am not tempted as much by the super sweety, salty, buttery, greasy foods like I used to be. As I focus on really fueling my body with what it needs, instead of calming my emotions, those less nutritious foods play such a different role. So happy to see that change in myself.
   Workouts & water are going great. Feeling fitter. I can run around & pick up the house with much more energy and strength. I can pull myself up off the edge of the pool. I swam half a mile in 36 minutes.
    So even though I had a rough go off it for awhile, these past 3 weeks of 14 pounds lost brings a lot of anticipated achievement that I am very proud/pleased with.
     In case anyone was wondering, these are the 7 weight goals I have set for myself:

279= Under pre-pregnancy & wedding weight
249= Thinner than Brycen has ever seen me
225= Beginning Mission weight
199= In the One Hundreds!! (Under lowest mission weight)
179= Under what my average high school weight was
160= What I weighed @ 8th grade graduation
150= Healthy weight for my height & frame (Haven't weighed this since I was 11 or 12 --20years ago)

     So the 1st goal is met and I am on to the 2nd! Just keeping plugging away! I'm not scared that I will quit anymore, I have come so far psychologically and physically that I don't want to give up! I have such a strong support group that I know I can make it through any rough patches that come.
   Thanks all for the encouragement and not giving up on me! What an incredible achievement!

Happy Father's Day to you wonderful Dad's out there!

-Tanya

Week 35 Here I come!!

Another 2 pounds lost brings me to 283lbs for a total weight loss of 20 pounds since I started!!! Finally! Yes!! What a great new eating plan I have begun and I totally love it! Last week's BIG 8 lost really helped me. I wasn't sure if any weight would be lost this week and to have another 2 come down was fantastic! It feels so great to say I lost 20 pounds! This is within the 5 pound range of where I was when Brycen and I got married and when I got pregnant with Lucas. These are the numbers to beat! Hitting 279 is my next weight goal, putting me UNDER that 280-285 pound range will be a great accomplishment!
   Changing my eating habits can be very challenging at times, and very rewarding. Some of you have shown an interest in the nutrition plan I am following. I am working on a post that should be up later this week that explains it more in detail, but it basically follows the gist of the P90X Nutrition Plan. It is a little different and I will explain more about why later. If you follow the link it will take you to a PDF file that will give the details. It is really fascinating to me how well it works.
   The coolest part about eating this way is that you can adapt it to your own body and the nutrition plan will change a little bit as your body becomes leaner and you achieve greater health. This isn't a "diet", it really is a nutrition plan for life. One of the biggest factors that plays a huge role is that you track what you eat. This isn't just to count calories, but it lets you count and see your nutrition. It lets you know where your food is coming from. Since calories come from Carbs, Fats, and Proteins, it gives you the general breakdown of how much of each contributed to what you ate.
   Being able to visually see how I am fueling my body helps me to what to treat my body better. I look at food differently in general, in a better perspective. I want to give my body better things. As this week has gone on I have realized that I needed to set some clearer boundaries for myself and outline this new eating plan and what I am committed to do:
1) Do my workouts (right now it's Les Mills PUMP 90 day challenge)
2) Eat between 1200-1400 calories everyday (exception: if my body needs more, I can eat more)
3) Track everything I eat in MyFitness Pal.
4) Strive for a 50-30-20 ration of Protein-Carbs-Fats
5) Stay away from sugary, salty "junk foods" that provide little nutrition
6) Enjoy eating healthy foods and drinking lots of water!

These steps for me are a way to change my body and gain a healthier life. It actually isn't that hard. And when I have been faced with those "junk foods" I have been able to not eat them b/c I see them as something that will not be taking care of my body. It's as simple as that.

I really feel positive about this plan and that it will work for me for a long lasting way of life. I hope each week brings better health. This week, besides losing 2 more pounds I also noticed that my arms are gaining greater definition and that I have a little more energy and stamina during the day.

So, here's to another great week, and looking forward to the exciting challenges and changes for this next week!
God Bless,
Tanya

Let's go! 34 Weeks!

BIG loss this week! And it's about time!! 8 pounds lost from last week bringing me down to 285lbs!! What a great boost! I don't think there has ever been a person happier to be 285lbs than me!! Hahaha! So what did I do, you ask? At the strong encouragement of my fantastic brother-in-law I started using MyFitnessPal to track what I was eating. At first I focused on bringing my calories down, now I am focusing more on the nutrition I am getting and making sure my fat-carb-protein ratio is healthier. I was most shocked on how high my fats were. I am actually really liking it now. It took most of the week to get over the bad attitude I have about tracking foods, but as I could see the benefits, it made the negatives seem less important.
    So anyway, I've been doing so much better on water and that has seemed to make the difference, especially since my calorie count has gone a lot lower. My workouts are going great, feeling strong and healthy.
    Eating less calories and focusing on my fat-carb-protein ratio is proving to be challenging, but in a good way. It was really rough last week b/c I felt like that was all I could focus on and it was pretty stressful. So to help make it less stressful and time consuming and more enjoyable and workable I have done a few things.
1) Plan meals for the week
2) Buy all the foods for the week
3) Have veggies on hand for quick snacks
4) Focus on the positive changes and joy that comes from being healthy

    It seems like the mental/emotional part of this journey for me is really kicking in and changing. I think more about other things than I do about food now. Really focusing on the things I have previously blogged about (like my relationship w/God and how to deal with life in a healthy way) has really helped me get to this stage.

Excited for a new week!
Goals this week: Focus on the Fat Shredding percentage of 50% protein, 30% carbs, 20% fiber; Do my workouts, Drink Water, Focus on my tasks of the day not just on my nutrition and exercise, in other words "Have a life"!!
Until Next Week,
Be Strong!
-Tanya

Starting 33 Weeks

So after an excellent week of making every single workout and listening to my body and not overeating I feel really great. I met my first weight goal of 289 this week on Thursday and Friday! Boy was that amazing! I was even 289 at the Doctors and at my sister-in-laws! Loved seeing that! So you can imagine my disappointment when stepping on the scale for my official weigh-in and I was back up to 293!! What??!! I was pretty freaked out at first, and yes I was really embarrassed. But, I am not ashamed. I worked really hard and am confident that I did the best I could this week. I know there are many explanations/reasons why it could be that I am up 5 pounds in just 2 days, and I know it wasn't b/c of skipped workouts or overeating. So, I am happy with where I am at. (and truthfully, inside I am still claiming 289!!)
   I learned such an important lesson this week, with my heart being crazy and my weight going wonky. My behavior is the most important part of this process. And the coolest thing is that I didn't turn to eating to deal with the stress of it all! This morning when I was so upset I walked to Church instead of driving in order to get those endorphins pumping and to release the tension. And you know what? It worked. It usually takes me 15-17 minutes to walk to church, and I made it there in 13. That's right! I am improving and changing just bit by bit. 2 weeks ago we measured for the start of the Les Mills Pump 90 day challenge. Since then I have lost 2 pounds (if you put in the 289 it would have been more but I used 293), 1 inch off my waist and 1% body fat! Look at that!
    So life isn't fair sometimes and doesn't make sense, does that mean I just give up? It used to. But not this time. I have so much to live for and I have accomplished so much. The scale will HAVE to show my progress eventually even if it didn't today. So for this week, continue to do my workouts and continue to listen to my body and not overeat. As one new edition= get more water! I have not been drinking as much as I need to and that is totally something I know I can do this week!

     *As I side note I was totally humiliated to report today. I didn't want to. But I promised and I did it. I can keep my promises, even when it's hard. Thanks so much for listening/reading/supporting. You all are so important to me!

-Tawn 

Into 32 Weeks

31 full weeks down, and my weight is the same this week. It was a really bad week for eating for me. But a really great week for exercising, did my workouts, swapped one day out, and overall was happy for that. I am so grateful I did my workouts or else I know my weight would have skyrocketed from what terrible eating it was for me. So the focus for this next week is the eating. Really keep a better eye on it. Today was good. I can do it again! This staying the same weight is rough, but I am grateful for not going back up. I just know to see progress I'm really gonna have to pump it up this week. So feel free to hammer me with lots of encouragement and tough love, I need it!!!

Into Week 31

2 more pounds lost this week! Bringing me back down to the lowest I've been since I've started. That 292 just gives me a hard time! I have also lost an inch in my waist and hips and bust and so that is very good! I made my weekly goals of "no missed workouts"! I exercised everyday this wee. It felt so great. My eating is getting better. Slowly but surely I am eating less and less each day, just naturally. That's how I want it to be. I know if I feel deprived or if it is too intense I won't be able to stick with it. So I am counting on the slow and steady to win my race!
    So this week's goal really is to keep up with my workouts. The Beachbody Workouts are doing so great for me. I am amazed at how well they are able to design the program so it works your body perfectly. On the videos they always push when I feel like I can push and take a break just when I need it. The layout of what workouts to do when are so perfectly timed that I feel like I am being challenged, getting good variety, and my body isn't too sore or not sore enough (meaning I'm not feeling any change).
    Doing great. No big jumps down this week, but that's okay.
So keep with my workouts this week and eat well for my body!

--And Happy Mother's Day to all you wonderful mothers out there!

-Tawn
P.S.  My graduation was great this week and most of you have seen my facebook photos! Thanks for the encouragement!

Starting Week 30

Well here I go into week 30. Things these past couple of weeks of been interesting for me. A lot of soul searching and a lot of eye opening experiences. Also feel like I need to be more honest with myself. Truthfully it's hard to post every week when I'm not losing weight every week. But part of this process for me is being more honest with myself and others. So, my new goal is to not miss posts. Even when I'm out of town, even when I've not lost any pounds, keep posting, keep trying.
    So my weight is around 294, not bad, but still not moving like I wanted it to. And I think that's the point, I wanted to do this my way, and it's taken quite some time for me to really let go of my way and do it the way the Lord wants me to. And the first step for me here is HONESTY. Be honest with my body. Listen to it. Fuel it not OVERfuel. When I've had enough to eat my body does and will tell me when it's had enough. LISTEN. No crazy weird diets or weird foods. Just LISTEN and try to do those things I have been taught. Eat the right amount of proteins, fats, and carbs for what my body needs and then listen for when I have had enough. That takes real honesty. And I know that is the step I need to focus on. So I will try to be more honest by continuing to post even when it's hard, and continuing to strive for honest. And honestly it might be really hard these first few weeks, but I will strive to be honest and when I fool myself, admit it and keep being accountable. I realized something: If I'm not posting YOU can't know how to help and I lose my support that has been so important to helping build my confidence and belief in myself. So I will keep at it. I haven't given up. I still have 18 weeks and I want to make them the best.
   It's hard not to give up right now, but the great thing is that it's not too late. I still have more time. I know that I could have done better these past 29 weeks, but I can't change those. But, I still have 18 more and I want to move forward so at the end of the 48 weeks I can feel proud of myself. There is still time, but I can't waste anymore. I need to move forward and not let the past defer me from my goals today.
   So no more missed posts. And try for more workouts. Honesty in my eating and honesty in my workouts.

Thanks for your support!
-Tawn

Weeks 24-27

As I start into my 27th week, I am now more than halfway to my goal of 48 weeks of focusing on weight loss and health. The cool thing is that I am learning so much about myself and why I eat the way I do. I am grateful for what I have learned in this past month! I have stayed around 292 and 293 so still a total weight loss of 11 pounds, which is so great for me considering what I have been through this past month with sickness, traveling, and emotional changes. The sickness this past week and a half has really killed my workouts. But I finally feel well enough to push harder this next week. So, I am still in the game! Still 21 weeks left and plenty of fight in me! Changing daily habits is possible through hard work and dedication. So this week is exercise and getting plenty of fruits and veggies.

Into Week 23

22 full weeks and the 5 POUND LOSS this week brings me to 292 and a total of 11 pounds lost! That is the lowest I have been since I started, where I was at before Christmas. All my workouts, all my cautious, careful eating and calorie watching paid off this week! Can I tell you that I usually HATE counting calories, but I know that weight loss really is about the math. You burn more than you consume and the weight WILL come off. That means exercise and watch the calories. There are no shortcuts to health. You have to literally work your tush off!
    So my goal from last week was to get all 7 workouts in and I did 10 workouts! That really did make the difference this week in the weight coming off. So my goals for this next week are to continue with getting at least 7 workouts (1hour a day) and stay @ or below 2000 calories. I really feel better around that amount, anything more is just unnecessary. Also, at the recommendation of my amazing brother-in-law (who has had his own tremendous weight loss and health transformation), I have signed up for Team Beachbody. We should be getting the Les Mills Pump series in the mail this week. Looking forward to getting it! If anyone else has used it before let me know what you think! Hope you all had a great week and I am so thankful for all the "likes", comments, prayers and wonderful support you have given, especially in not giving up on me!

Week 22

21 Full weeks down. Unfortunately went up one pound this week. Ug. After talking with my brother-in-law yesterday, I realized I really need to pump things up a bit. I seem stuck here in the 290s and it's just frustrating. I feel like my eating is going so well, eating just the right amount so I am not getting too full, but I realize that I actually need to work a bit harder now. I did about 3 out of 7 workouts last week, and that's just not enough. So I am really needing to push hard to get past my set point this week. That's my goal! Get all 7 workouts in this week!

Week 21 Begins!

So I am a full 20 weeks into my goal of 48 weeks and I am happy to report that things are looking up! First off, I have lost 3 more pounds bringing me to 296lbs with a total weight loss of 7 pounds. If you look at if from purely a weight loss perspective, I lost 7 pounds that first week, and now 19 weeks later I am still @ 7pounds lost. However, so many good things have happened for me in these last 20 weeks, here are some of them:
1) I am now graduated with my Masters Degree and have my Diploma.
2) I have received so much support from friends and family who give advice, exercise with me, listen when I need it, relate to me, compliment me, encourage me, send me stories/inspirational quotes, and love and pray for me. I am so grateful!
3) I have strengthened relationships with family and friends in ways I couldn't have otherwise.
4) How I think and feel about food is so different, healthier, now.
5) I want to dress up and look my best more often, even if I'm not at the weight I need to be yet.
6) I am not cranky as often when I don't get to eat.
7) I don't stuff my face and binge on foods anymore.
8) I eat more fruits and vegetables, and I actually crave them more.
9) I am starting to gain more energy and physically feel better.
10) The biggest thing that has changed for me is my relationship with my Heavenly Father.
* I know that some of you reading this blog may have different religious views and beliefs than I do. I wish to say that I respect you very much and hope that you can read what I have to share with the understanding that I am sharing it with the intent to lift and inspire others as I have been lifted up and inspired by you. Thank you.

I know that I am a daughter of God. I have felt His Spirit and I know that He is real. I know that He sent His son, Jesus Christ, to earth to show us the way to live our lives and to prepare the way so that we can live with Him and the Father eternally with our families. Because I know this, I have been baptized and made a promise to keep His commandments. When I made that promise 13 years ago I had felt the power of His healing and I wanted to share that with others. I served a mission and have been married and I continued to make promises to serve and obey God and do what He wants me to do. I wish I could say that I always do what is right, but I can't. Most of the time, I do what I want. Luckily, most of the time what I want to do is the right thing, but sometimes it's not. Recently, in Primary, we have been studying the scriptures in Abraham 3:24-25 which says "We will go down, for there is space there... and we will make an earth whereon these may ^cdwell;  And we will ^aprove them herewith, to see if they will ^bdo all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them." 

It hit me that the purpose of this life is to learn to be obedient. The "proving" part comes in that God will not force obedience upon us, that is not His way. He wants us to choose it for ourselves. He wants us to give our will to Him. All these years I have been trying to be a disciple of Christ, I have still kept back a few things. I wanted to keep doing things my way, but I can't. I feel much like Peter, who even after He had been following the Savior and trying to what is right, the Savior said to Him "when thou art converted, strengthen thy Brethren." (Luke 22:32). I had always thought I was converted, yet I still kept back some of my will from Him. I was scared, and mostly unwilling to have faith and believe Him in ALL things, I had faith in Him for most of the time. But, the scripture doesn't say "to see if they will do MOST things" or "all things EXCEPT the ones they don't want to do". 

        This concept is not new to me, but before I was never willing to fully give up ALL of my will and do ALL the things I was supposed to. But, I have made promises and I want to keep them. So, I have chosen to do this God's way. At this time I am not going to share all of what I have been doing, but I may share that later. It's pretty personal for me, but I do want to share that I have been seeking to know what the right way is for me to take care of my body and my health. I have been doing it successfully for 12 days now. I feel fantastic! Mostly because I know that this is what God wants for me, and I am doing it, even though a lot of times I don't want to. I am doing it because I want to be able to say one day that I do what He wants me to do even when I don't want to. I want to prove that I will be obedient to Him. I know that God knows who I am and He loves me so much. 

I hope and pray that some of what I have shared can help you in whatever trials or struggles you go through.

Well, my goal for this next week is to keep on that eating plan to get my full hour of exercise each day. Exercise is really going to be key in helping my heart to stay healthy.

Thank you all for your support and not giving up on me through this journey. 

Starting Week 18

17 Weeks down, maintained this week @ 299. Still under 300, I'm okay with that. I have been thinking a lot about the goals I have set for myself and I realized that mainly I want to be able to say that I take care of my body by exercising regularly, eating healthy, well balanced meals and really doing my best. I know that if I am doing that I will get down to a healthy weight. It is frustrating to not see the results of my efforts right away. And it's hard to have it go so slowly. But, I feel so good b/c I have honestly been doing my best right now. I am realizing b/c my weight maintained, that I could up my workouts a bit. I have been mostly doing walks for my 1hour exercise, so I am going to up it a bit, making sure my workouts that I am getting my heart rate up to the right range for exercise, and making the workouts more intense. I am good with my eating around 2000 to 2500 calories, I am going to keep it in that range for this week, and really focus on eating healthier foods. I'm going to try a friend's suggestion and make sure I eat proteins with my carbs, and also eat more veggies. I've never really roasted veggies before so I am going to try that.
   Also, in other news, Lucas is potty trained and doing fantastically! He really is an incredible kid. We are so blessed! So excited for his birthday this week!
-Tanya

Week 17

16 Full Weeks, 1 more pound lost! That brings me to a total weight loss of 4 pounds. Even though I had my bad day, I still lost a pound this week. And more than that, I learned so much this week. This process is about me changing the way I live. I have been thinking of all the things that will change for me as I continue to eat healthier, exercise, and lose weight. Here is a list of what I came up with:
1) I will feel more at peace with myself and with God.
2) I will be more confidant in who I am.
3) I will have more energy and ability to play with Lucas and be a good mom to him.
4) Clothes I like might actually come in my size.
5) I will be able to go rollerskating with Brycen.
6) My health will be so much more improved.
7) I will be able to dance again.
8) I will be able to fit into chairs better without squeezing in and feeling so uncomfortable and humiliated.
9) I will be able to move around more freely.
10) I will be able to run better.
11) I will have kept the promises I have made to myself, to God, and to my family.
12) My husband might actually be able to carry me over the threshold. Always wanted that.

As I was thinking of these things I realized that even though I have only lost a few pounds now, how I think of food has changed. I have more self control and I am realizing that food does not make me really happy. I can enjoy it without letting it be what I depend on to make me happy. Because really, it doesn't make me truly happy, it makes me miserable when I overeat. One day this week I picked up some hot chicken for dinner. I hadn't eaten very much so far that day and was hungry, so my impulse was to grab a piece of chicken out of the bag before I had even got it into the car. Normally I would have devoured it, but I thought "it's not time to eat yet, I am hungry, and dinner is soon, I can wait." I know that is a simple concept, but having the patience and being able to wait has become something I just didn't do. But now, I can. Now, I did it. I am so proud of myself. And I am not afraid that I will not be able to keep doing it. I know I can, I am, and I am so excited for the way my life is headed. I just can't describe the feelings I have had this week. I am just so happy, really happy. And it's not the food talking. I can do this. Finally being under 300 again feels good. I know there isn't a HUGE difference in 299 verses 300, but to me it means something. 
   Thank you so much, all of you. Your encouragement through my rough patches has made a big difference to me! It is so wonderful to share my journey with you.

Week 16

A full 15 weeks. 2 more pounds down, bringing total to 3. With how hard I worked this week I had expected a little more than that, but I am happy with any loss. The truth is, this week I really listened to and took care of my body. And it was the first time that I didn't resent doing it. So many times when I have tried to diet or lose weight, I end up being so cranky, getting headaches and making life pretty miserable. But, it was different this week. I am really happy with my choices, and know I am doing things right now. I am hoping for the same this week. To really listen to my body, and eat what I need to. So, this week I can eat up to 2500 calories again, I think that is a good amount for where I am at right now; and continue with 1 hour exercise everyday. I really feel on the right track this week.

Week 15

14 Weeks Down! I have lost 2 pounds this week, which brings total weight loss to 1 pound, hahaha! I am okay with that. I have learned so much this last week about myself. I worked at staying @ 2500 calories and doing my exercises, but I didn't work TOO hard. I gave a little effort and I was able to achieve my goals. I can do this. Thank you so much to everyone. I know you believe in me and some of you even have similar struggles. Please know I am so grateful for all your comments and your hardwork that shows such a good example to me.
     I know that I am a daughter of God. He has given me a body, and it's my job to take care of it. It may seem simple, but it is a great task. I want to raise my son and grow old with my amazing husband. I need to care for my body and get healthier!

   This weeks goals: Keep doing 2500 calories a day and 1 hour exercise. That worked for me last week so I will try it again, continuing to report every night. I also will work on using other outlets for my frustrations, boredom, headaches, and stress: instead of eating. Prayer, reading, playing with Lucas, calling a friend, doing crafts, cleaning, focusing on what I need to be doing, and also taking time to relax.

Thanks all!
--Tanya

Weeks 13 & 14

Well after a full 13 weeks and getting ready to head into the 14th, I am now up one pound from where I started. There it is. 304 pounds. I was dreading this post and starting to regret ever doing this blog. Feeling like a failure and a bit foolish. I was embarrassed to report today. The holiday eating did me in and now I feel so discouraged. I know so many of you are praying for me and cheering me on and are proud of me and the progress I was making. The truth is, that with all trials in life, it takes time. I have spent at least the last 10 years eating in order to handle stress and deal with life. I can't expect it to take only 13 weeks to change that. Even though I was trying to focus on changing the habits, they are so engrained in me, that it seems impossible. And now, I feel like I have to start all over again. I let myself and others down. Yet, the whole point of this blog is for me to have the support I need to get through it. If I was perfect every week then I wouldn't need help. But, I am not perfect, and I do need help. When I told Brycen that I was embarrassed about my blog and just wanting to quit it, he said that the people on my blog love me and they know me. They know how this has been a struggle for me, and they will continue to support me and encourage me.
So where to go from here?
Well, I was looking at what did work for me: Reporting nightly. Set a goal for the week, do it each day and report about it. So, here goes for this next week: 2500 calories a day-- I did it for one whole week without any mess ups and it was amazing. I know I can do it again.
So, there it is. Here's to a better week! Moving Forward. Don't Give up.
Thank you to all!
-Tawn

Weeks 11 & 12

Up at my parents' house so I haven't been able to update in a few weeks. Things are going well, holidays gave a bit of a set back, but I was up at exercised early this morning and feeling great. Haven't been able to weigh in b/c I don't want to use a different scale, so when I get back home I am hoping for good news! We'll still be up here for a little while longer, so we'll see. It does feel good to exercise! I will check in and update again once we get back home! Thanks all for the support!